1. You have at least one relative who wore a
black dress every day for an entire year after a funeral.
2. You spent your entire childhood thinking
what you ate for lunch was pronounced "sangwich."
3. Your family dog understood Italian.
4. Every Sunday afternoon of your childhood
was spent visiting your grandparents and extended family.
5. You've experienced the phenomena of 150
people fitting into 50 square feet of yard during a family cookout.
6. You were surprised to discover the FDA
recommends you eat three meals a day, not seven.
7. You thought killing the pig each year and
having salami, capacollo, pancetta and prosciutto hanging out to dry
from your shed ceiling was absolutely normal. (Wow, that's really
Italian!)
8. You ate pasta for dinner at least three
times a week, and every Sunday, and laughed at the commercial for
Wednesday is Prince Spaghetti day.
9. You grew up thinking no fruit or vegetable
had a fixed price and that the price of everything was negotiable
through haggling.
10. You were as tall as your grandmother by
the age of seven.
11. You thought everyone's last name ended in
a vowel.
12. You thought nylons were supposed to be
worn rolled to the ankles.
13. Your mom's main hobby is cleaning.
14. You were surprised to find out that wine
was actually sold in stores.
15. You thought that everyone made their own
tomato sauce.
16. You never ate meat on Christmas Eve or
any Friday for that matter.
17. You ate your salad after the main course.
18. You thought Catholic was the only
religion in the world.
19. You were beaten at least once with a
wooden spoon or broom.
20. You thought every meal had to be eaten
with a hunk of bread in your hand.
21. You can understand Italian but you can't
speak it.
22. You have at least one relative who came
over on the boat.
23. All of your uncles fought in a World War.
24. You have at least six male relatives
named Tony, Frank, Joe or Louie.
25. You have relatives who aren't really your
relatives.
26. You have relatives you don't speak to.
27. You drank wine before you were a
teenager.
28. You relate on some level, admit it, to
the Godfather and the Sopranos. I maka a meata ball you can't
refuse! ...forrgetttabbboutit! badda bing!
29. You grew up in a house with a yard that
didn't have one patch of dirt that didn't have a flower or a
vegetable growing out of it.
30. Your grandparent's furniture was as
comfortable as sitting on plastic.
31. You thought that talking loud was normal.
32. You thought sugared almonds and the
Tarantella were common at all weddings.
33. You thought everyone got pinched on the
cheeks and money stuffed in their pockets by their relatives.
34. Your mother is overly protective of the
males in the family no matter what their age.
35. There was a crucifix in every room of the
house.
36. Wakes would be held in someone's living
room.
37. You couldn't date a boy without getting
approval from your father.
38. You called pasta "macaroni".
39. You dreaded taking out your lunch at
school.
40.
Every condition, ailment, misfortune, memory loss and accident was
attributed to the fact that you didn't eat